I wish someone told me this during the worst time of my life (part two)

For context, read part one here.

Let’s keep going. . .

I wish someone told me this. . .

Use it

I found myself laying on a rock looking up at the sky on top of a mountain in the town I grew up in soon after my late miscarriage/ER bleeding out situation. I could clearly see I had two options: #1. Use these horrible circumstances as a driver to take better care of myself, get clear on what I want and need, and go after God more than ever before OR option #2 slip into a pit of despair and hopelessness, not seeing the point of anything.

I’ll be honest, both options were equally enticing. I could have easily gone either way.

I wish someone would have told me: Hard things will happen, always. And those hard trials can be the very catalysts that form you into the person you have the potential to be. Pain can be turned into power. With every situation, you can go multiple ways – you can use it, or it can use you. The enemy doesn’t want you to know that every trial can actually benefit you extremely and can give you more than it takes away. Suffering and pain are the ultimate accelerators. Although painful and heartbreaking, they can get you somewhere in a quarter of the time it would have taken otherwise. Use it.

Get off social media

I wish someone would have told me: When you are in a rough place in life and you are blasted with the best in others, your dark place gets darker. Period. When you are at your lowest, you are going to want to distract yourself more than ever before to stop the emotions. The internet makes that stupid easy. Block it and you will heal faster. Comparing and distracting will be the biggest inhibitors to your healing.

Find a good somatic experiencing coach:

Sometimes when your mind is running wild and your emotions are stronger than you, learn to use your body to move both through. A somatic coach can teach you how to heal and train your nervous system. They teach you how to use your body to calm your mind.

I wish someone would have told me: Find someone to teach you how to track sensation without a story and watch how it alchemizes before your awareness. In other words, you can learn how to move terrible emotions through your body without getting caught up in them. You can calm the natural reactions in your body that lead to a crazy mind. When you begin to work with the emotions instead of against them (medicating) or ignoring them altogether (distraction), you can begin to transform them.

Create a community, even if you don’t want to

I didn’t want to see anyone when my daughter was passing away because my shame was at an all-time high. But also, it was during this time we were able to witness who our true friends and family were who stepped in and saved our lives. It made me realize that dark unexpected events will happen, and you need to have a community in place before they do so you can make it through.

I wish someone would have told me: You are not meant to do life alone, you can’t. Who are the 3 people you are going to go all-in with? Focus on them now, you’ll need them in the future.

Eternity every day

Something magical happened to me during that horrible time. I always knew about eternity, but one day as I was driving to the mountains I actually got it. Like, nothing-will-ever-be-the-same-again-and-I-can-face-anything, got it. I don’t know how else to explain it except when your Spirit truly gets the revelation that this life is not what it’s about and it is just a dot in your experience, it’s like you know you can handle whatever happens. And you know your eternal life is your real life and you want to focus everything you have on it.

For me, surrounding myself with all things eternity is the trump card that works when nothing else will.

I wish someone would have told me: Saturate yourself with books, scripture, and teachings about eternity. No matter what has happened or what is happening, all of it will be over faster than you can comprehend. This life is not the point or the end. It’s training. It’s preparation. You could suffer here, but your rewards for that suffering are coming, rewards that you will experience forever in eternity, that will never end. Your time on earth is a boot camp, using each situation you face every year, every day, every moment to prepare and remember. Remember that fear isn’t true and we get to be transformed by what we go through. Remember our mind is the battlefield, but we can win.

The Next Thing Only

I wish someone told me: When days come you feel so off and down and you wonder if you can swim or if you will just drown. When you are not where you thought you would be and everything seems so overwhelming you can’t even see. When all you seem to do is have anxiety about what’s ahead and feel like you are hanging on only by a thread.

In those moments you need to know, focus on the next best thing only, enough right things will get you where you need to go.

What brings anxiety is looking at more than one thing or thinking about the future which you have no idea what will bring.

Focus on just the next thing only. Nothing else. Then all of a sudden, anxiety losses it’s grip and fear begins to melt.

Your mind will wander and wander but keep bringing it back because this present moment is all you are guaranteed to have.

I know it’s one of the hardest things you will have to do, let go of control and accept and love what’s in front of you.

That release and cultivation of moment to moment connection and joy will bring you to places you never imagined that the enemy tries to destroy.

The antidote to worry and stress is to slow down and be fully engaged in each moment and forget about the rest.

What are things you wish someone told you during the hardest seasons of your life? Comment below so we can all see!

Find of the Week

I just discovered Swedish dishcloths and I’ll never be the same. Think if a sponge, paper towel, and cloth had a baby. I use them for everything and then throw them in the dishwasher to clean.